Stop wishing for the sunshine
Saturday, December 11, 2010 11:52:00 PM
11:52 PM
Quite an odd hour for this camel to be awake ain't it? Even odder (omg there is such a word) that this particular camel is also on the computer blogging instead of trying to sleep. The oddest of all being that since a camel has hooves (well, I assume it does, sorry if I'm wrong I'm just a dumb blonde) (see what I did there?), how does it actually type on a keyboard?
11:55 PM
Many, many, many things running through my head. It's been quite a while since this has happened. I don't know if it's good or bad. Tomorrow was supposed to be Nicole's Christmas picnic thingo but my mom told me today that tomorrow also happens to be my Granddad's birthday dinner therefore I can't go Nicole's Christmas picnic thingo. I honestly feel so bad because she did ask me so much earlier and I feel so so so bad and so bad and I don't know. Hi Nicole if you read this I'm really so sorry I have to cancel on you the last minute please forgive this very sincere camel sincerely, camel.
12:05 AM
Bought a real Christmas tree today just in time for Christmas. I like the idea of having an actual Christmas tree in the house instead of the usual fake ones. It's quite exciting. But apparently my dad didn't want one and so my mom's paying for everything. He is quite a douche and rather annoying. He then decides to buy potted plants for God knows what reasons. Well, fine, he bought it for the balcony. I'm just so mad at him for being such a douche yet I don't quite know how to say this all out and it's probably not coming out the way I want it to right now and I probably sound like I'm just mad at my dad for no reason. Also, he told me he got his taxi license renewed today because God told him to and he's frustrated with his present job. Sometimes I wonder if God is just an excuse he uses. Somehow, I feel that way because I know sometimes I entertain the thought of using God as an excuse for everything. Sometimes, I just see so much of myself in my dad (well, duh, he's my dad). But it almost seems as if I'm the parent instead of him. It seems that I'm the one having to tell him to get his lazy ass of the couch, stop watching the television all day and actually have some goddamn drive to do well in life. My mom's asking him to further his studies and at least have a degree but he's just being so wishy washy and just dragging on and on about it. My mom's even paying for it. I just want my dad to do something. I don't want him to be taxi driver. If I'm being brutally honest, I don't want to have a dad who's a taxi driver. That aside, I just wished my dad would just grow up and stop acting like a little boy. He always does, and it's quite sickening and it just needs to stop because he's 50 already. You just can't go on floating in life forever.
12:16 AM
I'm going to be waking up to an empty house tomorrow. Parents and domestic helper are all going to church. When I didn't have a domestic helper, I used to hate waking up to an empty house. But I never really thought much of it and as a result, I didn't things that I'm not particularly proud of. I got used to waking up to an empty house after a while. Not sure what tomorrow's going to be like. I feel so alone sometimes. There are times where I may be in a crowd but I feel all so alone. There are times, times like this, where I can't even feel God near me. Alone, alone, so alone.
12:20 AM
The milk in the fridge in finished. I have no breakfast tomorrow. Well, I do have a banana. Oh, and bacon and sausages but I don't quite know how to work the oven. I love hearty breakfasts. Be it bacon, sausage and eggs or chwee kueh, carrot cake, bee hoon, I love having a full, nice breakfast to start off the day.
12:22 AM
This is where I cease thinking and commence sleeping. Or maybe not.
Quite an odd hour for this camel to be awake ain't it? Even odder (omg there is such a word) that this particular camel is also on the computer blogging instead of trying to sleep. The oddest of all being that since a camel has hooves (well, I assume it does, sorry if I'm wrong I'm just a dumb blonde) (see what I did there?), how does it actually type on a keyboard?
11:55 PM
Many, many, many things running through my head. It's been quite a while since this has happened. I don't know if it's good or bad. Tomorrow was supposed to be Nicole's Christmas picnic thingo but my mom told me today that tomorrow also happens to be my Granddad's birthday dinner therefore I can't go Nicole's Christmas picnic thingo. I honestly feel so bad because she did ask me so much earlier and I feel so so so bad and so bad and I don't know. Hi Nicole if you read this I'm really so sorry I have to cancel on you the last minute please forgive this very sincere camel sincerely, camel.
12:05 AM
Bought a real Christmas tree today just in time for Christmas. I like the idea of having an actual Christmas tree in the house instead of the usual fake ones. It's quite exciting. But apparently my dad didn't want one and so my mom's paying for everything. He is quite a douche and rather annoying. He then decides to buy potted plants for God knows what reasons. Well, fine, he bought it for the balcony. I'm just so mad at him for being such a douche yet I don't quite know how to say this all out and it's probably not coming out the way I want it to right now and I probably sound like I'm just mad at my dad for no reason. Also, he told me he got his taxi license renewed today because God told him to and he's frustrated with his present job. Sometimes I wonder if God is just an excuse he uses. Somehow, I feel that way because I know sometimes I entertain the thought of using God as an excuse for everything. Sometimes, I just see so much of myself in my dad (well, duh, he's my dad). But it almost seems as if I'm the parent instead of him. It seems that I'm the one having to tell him to get his lazy ass of the couch, stop watching the television all day and actually have some goddamn drive to do well in life. My mom's asking him to further his studies and at least have a degree but he's just being so wishy washy and just dragging on and on about it. My mom's even paying for it. I just want my dad to do something. I don't want him to be taxi driver. If I'm being brutally honest, I don't want to have a dad who's a taxi driver. That aside, I just wished my dad would just grow up and stop acting like a little boy. He always does, and it's quite sickening and it just needs to stop because he's 50 already. You just can't go on floating in life forever.
12:16 AM
I'm going to be waking up to an empty house tomorrow. Parents and domestic helper are all going to church. When I didn't have a domestic helper, I used to hate waking up to an empty house. But I never really thought much of it and as a result, I didn't things that I'm not particularly proud of. I got used to waking up to an empty house after a while. Not sure what tomorrow's going to be like. I feel so alone sometimes. There are times where I may be in a crowd but I feel all so alone. There are times, times like this, where I can't even feel God near me. Alone, alone, so alone.
12:20 AM
The milk in the fridge in finished. I have no breakfast tomorrow. Well, I do have a banana. Oh, and bacon and sausages but I don't quite know how to work the oven. I love hearty breakfasts. Be it bacon, sausage and eggs or chwee kueh, carrot cake, bee hoon, I love having a full, nice breakfast to start off the day.
12:22 AM
This is where I cease thinking and commence sleeping. Or maybe not.