Tomorrow marks the start of the second week of school and the official start of Secondary 4 lessons.

First week of school has been fine. First day, typical administration stuff and slacking in class. The next three days was the Adam Khoo camp. I basically stayed in school from 7am-9pm with my butt stuck on the chair for most of the time, freezing my ass off in the I-forgot-what-it's-called room listening to total bullshit. To be fair, some of it was beneficial but other than that, it was a total waste of my time and energy and I even got sick in the process. But the closing ceremony was quite beautiful and extremely touching. Observations: Out cohort have very lofty and interesting aspirations/dreams. Some wanted to be Vogue's chief editor, be a pilot, go to Harvard, cure cancer so on and so forth. I would go into detail but I realized that I have a lot to blog and it's about 1 hour before I need to go to sleep.

Went to Ion to get my Chinese New Year clothes today! I'm so happy now and the guy at the store was quite nice and pretty cute for a Asian/Singaporean and he smiled at me so yeah (I am actually giggling irl). I am also now known as Kia Nicole's personal shopper because I went to Muji to get a shitload of pens for her (who on earth needs so much pens?!) and notebooks. Then I met her at Starbucks to study, but I happen to fail miserably at life today. I was so psyched on studying for A Maths hxc, only to realize that I left my A Maths textbook in school. Then I forgot to bring out my calculator and I actually wanted to do some Mathematics. Nicole is quite a saviour today. Did a little of the A Math holiday homework and I am actually quite satisfied because I've been so out of touch with Math during the holidays, thought I'd just start slowly. But then I saw Nicole tweet 'Talk's cheap. Don't see you doing anything.' right after I say that I am aiming for 6 points and I can't help but feel that it's about me. We were just talking about going to Ngee Ann Poly together next year after going to the open house yesterday and out of no where came that. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad and a little demoralised. Oh yeah, Ngee Ann Poly open house was quite fantastic and I'm so stoked for the future. I'm planning to do a banking and financial services course there, so yeah! Then she asked if I had a centre parting now and I felt that she had quite a certain disdain in her voice, I felt almost guilty. That girl has a way of making you feel guilty somehow. I don't know, I feel really guilty/bad/I don't actually know.

I hate how I need to some assurance and no one actually assures me a lot which actually makes me feel quite shitty about myself. Also, I think I've turned into quite a mean person nowadays and I can't help but think that it's because I hangout so much around Nicole. I'm not saying she' ultra mean or anything, she can be nice when she wants and she's actually quite nice to me. Just that she does have quite a certain mean streak in her and I hate how easily influenced I am by the people I hang around a lot with. I don't even know what I'm saying now I just needed to get a load of that out because I was just feeling quite shitty honestly. I'm so mad at myself for leaving my textbook in school. I now have to revise 6 chapters in one afternoon. I might not even sleep at 10 tomorrow night.

Now build a bridge and get over it.