4:14AM
Wednesday, September 19, 2012 3:10:00 PM
Its a deadly timing. Its at these time where my thoughts run rampant, my emotions takes over my being and whatever little rationality, sanity I have preserved in me. First off, let me just say that I'm sorry that things are always sounding so sad and pathetic in this blog. I ensure you that I'm happy most of the time. I just always write whenever I'm feeling things. Like now.
I finally hung out with E again after what seemed like ages since we last hung out. We get along so well, we really do. I miss having him around. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he makes me feel so good. He's a great guy and I really wonder sometimes why I ever let him pass me by. Why can't we accept what is presented to us on a silver platter instead of yearning after something we can't have? I tell E everything, a lot of things, and its a two way thing. Naturally, I began to tell him about P. We say a lot of things when we're together that its almost impossible to keep track or remember most of the things we say, granted that most of it is bullshit. But I will firmly remember this: he said that if he were to ever see me cry over P, he'd whack the hell out of him. He's really a great guy but I can't, see him as more than a really good friend. For that, I really feel like the dumbest bitch in the world and I ought to be given a tight slap. I absolutely hate how we can't control how we feel, who we have feelings towards. Right now I just don't want to feel anything, at all. I don't even know why I'm breaking apart so badly right now. I almost feel like my frail emotions are being toyed with. There seems to be never ending questions that I don't have answers to and I lack the balls to get these answers. I feel like I'm just being lead on by this thinning thread. E's right, why do I torture myself this way?
You made it clear that you like me. For that I'm thankful, I'm thankful that my efforts have not turned to naught and that this is not a one way street. We made it clear. We didn't want that but there was something we both wanted. So why haven't you drop me a text me since then? Are you starting to regret what you said? Tell me if you did because if you did, I'd be gone, I'd move on. I won't make a nuisance of myself where I'm not wanted. But I'm just here, clueless and hoping, hoping that you didn't regret what you had said, and that we could go out, get to know each other as beings, take this somewhere. I'm just tired of waiting. I haven't waited so long in my life. I haven't had this kind of patience in ages. I haven't had this form of persistence in forever. I don't even know why I'm talking about this like we're in a relationship when we aren't. I just like you, a whole lot. I like you so much its driving me insane. I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Boy, I'm in love with you, this ain't a honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase, right in the thick of......
I finally hung out with E again after what seemed like ages since we last hung out. We get along so well, we really do. I miss having him around. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he makes me feel so good. He's a great guy and I really wonder sometimes why I ever let him pass me by. Why can't we accept what is presented to us on a silver platter instead of yearning after something we can't have? I tell E everything, a lot of things, and its a two way thing. Naturally, I began to tell him about P. We say a lot of things when we're together that its almost impossible to keep track or remember most of the things we say, granted that most of it is bullshit. But I will firmly remember this: he said that if he were to ever see me cry over P, he'd whack the hell out of him. He's really a great guy but I can't, see him as more than a really good friend. For that, I really feel like the dumbest bitch in the world and I ought to be given a tight slap. I absolutely hate how we can't control how we feel, who we have feelings towards. Right now I just don't want to feel anything, at all. I don't even know why I'm breaking apart so badly right now. I almost feel like my frail emotions are being toyed with. There seems to be never ending questions that I don't have answers to and I lack the balls to get these answers. I feel like I'm just being lead on by this thinning thread. E's right, why do I torture myself this way?
You made it clear that you like me. For that I'm thankful, I'm thankful that my efforts have not turned to naught and that this is not a one way street. We made it clear. We didn't want that but there was something we both wanted. So why haven't you drop me a text me since then? Are you starting to regret what you said? Tell me if you did because if you did, I'd be gone, I'd move on. I won't make a nuisance of myself where I'm not wanted. But I'm just here, clueless and hoping, hoping that you didn't regret what you had said, and that we could go out, get to know each other as beings, take this somewhere. I'm just tired of waiting. I haven't waited so long in my life. I haven't had this kind of patience in ages. I haven't had this form of persistence in forever. I don't even know why I'm talking about this like we're in a relationship when we aren't. I just like you, a whole lot. I like you so much its driving me insane. I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Boy, I'm in love with you, this ain't a honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase, right in the thick of......