Bring me back to those nights where I just laid in your arms in the darkness. I could hear the certain beat of your heart. I could feel your chest as it rose and fell, along with your steady breathing. Your face so serene, deep in slumber, which complemented the silent beauty of the early mornings so very well. I felt at peace, I felt safe. Stupendous joy overwhelms and pours out of my being. For those moments, we were just two beings who felt something different deep within them for another. Simple and pure. That is something no one could provide me with so far. I find myself constantly scouring for that simpleness only you possess. All I've been presented with are jerks after jerks who just use me. How selfish people can be, I will never understand. Then again, maybe I'm partly to blame. I'm partly to blame because I trust people easily, I let them in over time, I crumble with a slight gust of the wind. You, you've got walls thick as steel built around you. You don't let anyone in. Maybe that's why you're still a whole being, unscathed. I wish you'd just give me a chance and let me in. I can't promise not to hurt you, but I don't mean any harm. I will never mean any harm. I'm just sick and tired of degrading and ruining myself. I've always felt like I'm never good enough for anyone but for once, I feel sufficient for you. But with all the recent self-damage, I'm right back where I started. Who would love a wreck like me, especially you?

Where all these feelings and thoughts are coming from, I know not, because we barely exchange a word every single day.

Labels: P, Thoughts